Is it pretentious of me...

To realize that I must be to my mother what Juniper is to me? A muse.
I was thinking about this in the shower this morning and it was worded a lot more eloquently in my head 4 hours ago and now that I am able to sit and type it out, it's gone...

Nevertheless, who was it that said something like 'In Truth there is Beauty'?

Because I see her flaws and they are beautiful.

OMGosh!

Dropped it in a big way again huh?

Here is what happened:
Went to Australia over summer, came back, discovered that i new my medium for all this time and starting using it for once, go here to see what i'm talking about: http://thefeltingpot.blogspot.com/
Sebastian started 2nd grade, Yossarian got all his hair cut off by his request (oh melancholy day) and starts a very short (2.5 hrs on two days a week) program at a senior high school childhood development center next week, and Juniper is about to turn ONE!

eeep!

Here are some random pictures from just recently:

New hair!



First day of Second grade:


Juniper has lots of new tricks. Like sitting in the dog water bowl. Yum.




Climb on anything she possibly can, no thought to the almost certain doom she faces if she were to fall backward. She laughs in the face of danger - Hah hah! (yes, I did run for the camera before making sure she was safe).



Yossarian and Olivia playing dress-up.
Blackmail material for the years to come. *snicker*



My sweet darling precious angelic daughter in her first real Halloween costume. Last year she was 4 weeks old and slept in a carrier the whole time. This year the whole family is theming it up as Alice in Wonderland characters, thanks to my mummy who bought this perfect little Alice dress in a thrift shopping trip!

I am going to add a blue satin sash around the middle, as there are loops already for it.

Pictures!

Juniper in her first swim suit. Yossarian picked it all by himself. Sebastian said she needs a bikini. I think she looks just perfect!








Mmm, dirt.




Eating waffles for breakfast!



Worms that decided to come and reproduce on our patio after a ton of rain! eeww! We put them in the freshly tilled spring garden beds.



Weird mycelia in my front garden. It exudes a sticky inky substance from it's caps. It's really freaking cool. Yes, that is Chad's ugly hand.



All dressed up for my BFF Annie's Graduation party. So proud of her! My MIL cut off my awesome metallic gold pumps.


The hairpiece I made. It's actually cooler than it looks here but again, MIL didn't quite capture the whole picture.

oops, i dropped the ball

Not like I didn't foresee that happening though right?

Here are some updates and cute things:

Juniper - She is 7.5 months old now. She crawls. She has 2 bottom teeth and some top ones on their slow and steady way.
She says "Amba" clear as day. She waves bye bye with vigour. She is smitten with our dogs, and her brothers. But mainly Sebastian since Yossarian likes to make her angry.

Yossarian - Turned 3 and overnight transformed into a stereotypical 3 year old, complete with tantrum throwing, an iron will and mean little words and fingers. We will keep him though. He's still the coolest little hippy dude on the block.

Sebastian - Is about to graduate 1st grade. He has his first piano recital next week. He is playing 4 songs. I will be sure to record it.
Today while doing his homework Yossarian bumped his arm and he said "Man, Yossarian, you made my "M" look like I farted on it". Cracked me up.

Also the other night at the grocery store I said we had to hurry because they were about to close. Sebastian quips - "oh well, we'll just camp in it and steal all the food to eat". I respond, "Sounds fun, and then you'll go to jail". Sebastian responds "You might go to jail but I won't. I'll go to Juvie".
hahaha!!!

Chad went on a camping trip with brother and father to Lake Tahoe. They were gone 4 days. It was fun for them. Sucked boogers for me. haha

I will post again in a moment with some great pictures from the past month or two.

The Pianist

Here is Sebastian doing some improv, and then I made him play a song. He played the most basic song he knows - after about 6 or 7 lessons he knows about 8 or 9 songs. Oh well, still cute.
His teacher thinks he is a natural.
He never had any rhythm, so I think it's the mathematics involved in piano playing that helps him succeed.

The first video didn't catch what I wanted it to, since I was sneaking in from the other room.

Working in the yard

Random things...

From the past few weeks...


Juniper chowing down on some avocado:



























Sebastian's blue and gold banquet at the Bill Bates Cowboy Ranch and awards ceremony as he graduates from Tiger to Wolf cub!
































I walked in on Sebastian putting a fresh diaper on his sister's nakey butt.
He did a really good job.

Camping

Spring break.
Jes' chillin'...

Well, not entirely. We went camping to Turner Falls, OK last week for 3 nights. It was a blast. We have been before and will go back again at the end of summer.
There was an unexpected cold snap right before we left, which brought a wintry mix and a low of 30-something the night before we got there. While we were there the overnight lows were 41, 41 and 45. The days reached 60-something, 60-something and then about 80 on the final day.

We went with a group of close friends and their children and it reminded me of camping trips we had when I was a kid. It was great, I hope to do a big group friends and/or family camping trip every year!

While we were there we spotted numerous sneaky raccoons, a silver fox, a herd of deer, a skunk, lots of trout and minnows, a crayfish, a swarm of buzzards, turtles on a log, turkeys, and a partridge in a pear tree.

dude i really suck at this blog thing

4 months!

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, his laugh broke into a million pieces, and they all went skipping about. That was the beginning of fairies."
Sir James Matthew Barrie, The Little White Bird.

Sweet darling angel baby girl was 4 months old yesterday.

*sigh*

Sebastian

Ahhh, Sebastian...

What do I say about my first child? The one who made me a mother. The one who has both lifted me up in joy and broken my heart in almost equal amounts over the years.
Thankfully, the joy is still tipping the scales.
But boy, has this child taught me, and challenged me and frustrated me and hurt me and made me who I am today.

I've thought about this for weeks. Even before I started writing the Yossarian post. I still have no idea, so I'm going to go with stream-of-consciousness and see where that takes me. I think it might be the only way.

He is another child of mine who is showing to be very true to his sign. He is a Scorpio. And he is very possibly the most emotionally and physically passionate person I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
Fiesty, steadfast, gutsy, endowed with a snake's fierce and venomous tongue, this boy is the KING-OF-THE-WORLD!

He has these crushingly deep clear lake blue eyes that many young girls have already been lost in.

He reels you in, this one. He catches you with a glance and then casts you away with a sigh. No one has pierced his titanium shell, yet.

Sebastian's teacher has shared with me that all his classmates beg to be his partner when it's time to buddy up and he does his best to be diplomatic, and share himself around. People are so easily attracted to him. He's an Alpha, and the other kids just adore him.

It's so hard to get to know him. I struggle with this even as the one person who has known him the very longest, and dearest. We share a thread no one else ever has or will ever share but it doesn't mean I am anymore privy to his innermost.
I know there is so much that goes on in his heart and head that will be locked away in there forever.

I worry for him, as he grows, for I know he is going to be easily overcome with the trials childhood and adolescence will throw at him. As he breaks other hearts, his heart too will be broken. Shattered more likely. But he will withstand, and conquer. Not without a fair dose of agony, but eventually.

Sebastian is the opposite of both of his parents. He is Left brained. Both Chad and I are right.
Sebastian, from a young age, grasped numbers, counting, and things pertaining to science with ease.
I still can't count without using my fingers.

He loves sports, he is athletic. I can't even catch a ball.

It's a constant daily experiment, being his parent. But it keeps me on my toes, being stimulated to think outside the box, to evaluate what he needs, what works best for him. It's not easy altering your own perception of the world to best see it from another view. Sometimes, it's downright tortuous.

He wants to be a "space man". And I hope he hangs on to these dreams. I want to see him do something awesome. Something really out of the ordinary.

He is a loving little boy. He adores his sister (who just lights up for him more than for ANYONE else), and is a typical brother to Yossarian. I see them being good buddies in the years to come, when Yossarian matures a little more.

He's so young. His soul is brand new. Although he believes he came from somewhere else first. He believes he was dead before this life, and that he'll die and be born again as something fresh. He enjoys going to church and then coming home and telling us exactly why he doesn't believe in the God fairytale. I commend him for that. I commend him for having the tenacity to stand up and say no way to his authority figures. I commend him for telling me that his teacher is wrong when she very technically told him that "not everything is possible".

I hope and pray that one day, Sebastian will get beyond our little galaxy.

I thought it only fair...

To at least give my other children a post of their very own in light of Juniper's dedication.

So, I wrote some of the following on a message board last week and figured it a good jumping off point to talk about my middle child.

My Yossarian.
I have a pretty strong connection with this little soul I think. I can relate to him. Maybe it's a middle child thing?

He is not as young as his earthly years might have you believe.
He will be three in April.
But his soul is well traveled.
You can see that in his eyes, and it's mimicked in most of his actions.


He is a Taurus, through and through. Bullheaded. He is Stubborn, Strong, and Determined.
He will not, under any circumstances be fooled, conned, or reasoned with.
Reason doesn't exist in his world. He relies on pure instinct and whim.
There is only one truth and that is his own.
He does not follow rules, and is absolutely unapologetic for that.
He will look me in the eye and tell me clearly what he'll do instead, with such strong conviction that all I know how to do is shrug my shoulders and let him be.

Who am I to knock that determination?
No one, that's who.

Funny thing is - I thought Sebastian was spirited when he was little.
That's a laughable thought, these days.
Yossarian has taken that title and claimed it as his very own.

Beyond all that though he's the most openly giving of love little kid I've ever known. He GUSHES over all of us, lavishes us with his affection. We get passionate kisses and hearty embraces daily, out of the blue, which is the best kind. I never have to ask. He knows when is the best time to smother me - usually when I am angry or distracted or stressed or absolutely not expecting it. Always perfectly timed by him.

He will do wonderful things in his life. He will make art and love. He will dance to street music and appreciate little things, like warm bread and soft leather.

Most importantly, he will not surrender.